Freelancer and military spouse Shari Cruz, pictured on a beach with her family

Shari Cruz is a military spouse and freelance learning and development leader, instructional designer.

The second Friday of May is Military Spouse Appreciation Day in the U.S., which celebrates the pivotal role spouses fill as the foundation for soldiers, airmen, sailors, Marines, and coast guardsmen whether they’re at home or abroad.

As a military spouse, I am the first and loudest to proclaim that we do not make the same sacrifices as service members. But this is a day to recognize what we do give up, and what we gain, when we follow our spouse wherever they are called to go.

Life when you bleed red, white, and blue

When people think of military families, one moment frequently comes to mind: Coming home. What they don’t see are the months—even years—of relentless anxiety, anticipation, heartache, and unyielding faith that fuel that joy.

Behind every spouse is a string of homes, beloved relatives, and so many friends—the result of frequent relocations for the whole family. But uprooting yourself isn’t enough; each life-changing event is chased by time apart as military members jet off to trainings that last weeks at a time, or deployments that go for months on end.

Then there are homecomings, with waves of relief and disorientation as we both struggle to re-establish what “normal” looks like—just in time to reset the whole cycle. Again.

It’s far too easy to lose sight of your own identity

Military spouses share this unique lifestyle. Even the most flexible and well-adjusted of us will tell you it takes more than a deep breath to get through it—but we do. We do because we love our country and, more importantly, we love our service member.

What’s too easy to forget is that we are so much more: More than the pomp and circumstance, the wedding band on our finger, the service flag on our porch.

Military spouses come from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, all levels of education, and so many areas of expertise. We are stay-at-home parents, former service members, administrative assistants, teachers, lawyers, nurses, students, web developers, and photographers.

We weren’t born into this life to be a service member’s spouse. We’re here to create, to lead, to think, to help, to teach, and to fulfill our dreams in the way that we all deserve to do.

How do you do that when you live a transient lifestyle that’s constantly overshadowed by someone else’s calling

Learn to grow where you are

In the same way technology has eased the sting of distance by enabling us to “see” family across the country and our loved ones abroad, it has given us the opportunity to create a business that can flex around all the unknowns.

Through Upwork, I’ve combined my education, experience, and passion to work with clients in a way that helps me thrive while embracing the unique demands of military life. By providing a two-way marketplace, where clients and freelancers from all industries can connect, as well as a safe and easy place to pay and get paid, our world of possibilities is unlocked.

Frequent relocations can leave significant gaps on a resume and make a military spouse less than appealing to a traditional employer who knows the timer is already ticking for the next move.

Upwork enables military spouses to take a chance on themselves; you can put your education and experience to work wherever you may go. The ability to find clients online, in nearly any field, allows us to leverage our professional experience, use our talents, grow our passions, and even contribute substantially to our family’s economic well-being.

Finally, it adds some continuity: You don’t have to pack up everything and start at square one—you can hold onto your business and keep going. It’s the home-life balance we crave and we need as spouses. As professionals. As individuals.

So happy Military Spouse Appreciation day, fellow spouses! Thank you for everything you do to support your loved one in their service. And thank you to Upwork for giving me—and other spouses like me—a chance to support my Marine by providing a path to a business that fits into the puzzle that is this crazy life without sacrificing my family or myself.